London in 31

Oh gracious, I can't believe how quickly it's approaching. As nervous as I am, I am most definitely more excited than anything. I think it is time, ya know? I spoke with my soon-to-be-roomie, Claire, on Skype the other day for TWO HOURS. It's weird how you can barely know someone, but can still tell that you just click with them. Just talking to her about our flat and school and all the exciting things we want to do... like she found a hot yoga studio nearby that we plan to go to... and we're planning on taking extra dance classes outside of school and whatnot... :) Oh, and we're going to completely take over the city... and I'm going to marry Prince Harry... cause other boys are stupid and he dressed up as Hitler. :)

Been thinking a bit today... oh god, i know, ha!... I think I care too much about people. This sounds ridiculous, but I really mean it. I meet people and I think they're wonderful no matter what... I see the good and the bad things and learn to love both about the person...when really I should probably be like "hold up.. um.. this person is messed up..." I am especially this way with depressed people... which is not good. I take it upon myself to care about them and make them happy... because I live in "AlliLand" and feel like everyone should be as super happy as I am all the time. Then I open myself up to that person. This, I have learned recently, can backfire.

So am I doing something wrong? Is there a happy medium here in caring about people? Or is it just one of those live and learn kind of things? I mean, really I still don't regret anything but it does suck feeling like some time was wasted..? Life is too short to waste time... worrying... or being dumb... or whatever...Adventures are all I am after.

I guess no matter what exists around me, I just need to keep living in AlliLand and not let other people bring me down...?

I'll go with that. :)

I may be crazy in my own way but I really do like it here... in my mind... where the birds are sitting on top of rainbows and skittles are falling from the sky and rufus wainwright is singing French lullabies to me and ... and... and... and...i really could keep going, but I need to get out of the bathtub...

i hope they know

I've realized that I am one of the luckiest people on the face of this planet. I have such amazing friends and a wonderful, supportive family. Moving to London is going to be one of the hardest things I've ever done emotionally. And the only part of it that is difficult is leaving my family and friends here. I have the most ridiculous family ever. And I mean that in the best way possible. Because I've realized how much of a crackhead I am myself. ha... Wonder where I got it? Seriously though, I always see my friends in these constant struggles with their families and it makes me so sad. Of course my family has their own issues, but when it comes down to it, we are all best friends and would do anything in the world for each other... Heck, so many people complain about "having" to hang out with their family... but I love it. I choose to hang out with my family when I can. Unfortunately I don't always get to see them as much as I would like, but when we do see each other, nothing has changed.

And I feel the exact same way about my friends. Sometimes I go months without seeing my best friends. It sounds sad and it is, but it isn't out of lack of care...and we always know that. We have that same understanding that even if we don't see each other for a while, that at any point we have each others' backs. Always. Even when I am overseas.

So after all this rambling... I guess all I'm trying to say is that I hope they know.... I hope my family and friends know that me leaving isn't by any means a jab at my love for them. Because this will be one of the hardest things for me to do. But I hope they know how amazing they are. And I hope they know that this is just what I have to do.

Transitionnnnnnns

I think I am ready for this transitional phase to be over. I kind of feel like my life is on hold and I don't think I like it. Not my life... I love my life. I am just not enjoying not moving forward. Being stagnate. Working a job most definitely not doing what I want to be doing. Kind of into someone. Can't act on that. That would just be stupid, right? Why do these things even happen? Hmmm. A mystery for sure.

In other news, I am getting much much closer. I have about a month and a half before the big move. Still waiting on loans to go through, but they have at least been approved. I've bought my plane ticket, paid for my Visa (although I still don't have it), got an awesome FlipSlide HD Camcorder and a Sony Cybershot Digital Camera that is amazing... sweep panorama and all... I also bought my parents a webcam and set them up on Skype. And made them practice since they are, to say the least, not at all tech savvy.

Other than that, just working too much... partying too much... and packing... and pondering on how to pack...

READY, SET, FLY. Okay, almost...

Timing

It's such an interesting thing really.